


Encircling Mud

by poludeuces



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Other, master's gender is not stated, some ptsd stuff, spoilers for avicebron's role in lost belt 1, the use of the f word ooh, very small scene relating to roche's death in apo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 01:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15595197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poludeuces/pseuds/poludeuces
Summary: Avicebron wakes up to nightmares and needs some fresh air. Spoilers to his role in Lostbelt 1.





	Encircling Mud

_Mud. The harsh tightening around his limbs and neck. The shrill screaming he couldn’t block even if he covered his ears and shut his eyes tight. Everywhere he looked, all he saw was the mud, encircling and contorting around him, making sure to keeps its captive._

_“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” The words fell flat._

_“I didn’t mean to do this. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m not this person I swear!”_

_“Oh, but aren’t you exactly this person?”_

_He turned and saw the face of the child who had once called him professor. He looked different however. His eyes replaced with sapphires and his body made out of clay. His arms appeared mangled and his chest ripped open. Avicebron’s voice was caught in his throat._

_“You did this to me. You killed me.” The kid laughed and turned to dust. He could not reach out to save him in time._

There was a sudden shaking as he was jolted awake. 

He was surrounded by the familiar darkness. He blinked a couple of times, letting himself get adjusted to the dark and his eyes settled. He could now see that he was in his master’s room—the desk that he had often found himself sitting at just to his left, and the door across from him. 

He moved his hand and was met with the soft feel of the bed underneath him. His master’s bed. 

_Your bed,_ he could almost hear Ritsuka telling him. _Your room. I want you, I want you to be in my room, now._

He hadn’t understood this proposition but, eager to help his master in any way he could, he had begun sharing the room with them. He still wasn’t used to waking up in his master’s bed. 

Avicebron’s eyes landed on the clock, its red numbers telling him that it was 4:17a.m. He started running the information in his head. 

_It’s April 30th, 2018. 4:17a.m. You’re in your master’s bed. In an armoured truck belonging to Chaldea. Driving to Europe for the next Lostbelt._

His eyes fell to the sleeping master that lay next to him. Still asleep, Ritsuka’s chest rose and fell in rhythm, face soft. Dreamless sleep; how Avicebron wished for it. 

His hands were still shaking and his thoughts cloudy. His fingers fumbled in the darkness to find his bronze mask. Careful not to mess up any of the bandages on his face, he pushed his hair back and settled the mask on. It clicked into place and he fastened the bolts on each side. This took a couple of tries with his hands restless. 

He decided that the fancy leg pieces and his gauntlets would be impossible. He needed out of the room. Now. 

He grabbed his throw from the chair and shrugged it over his shoulders, hugging himself. 

Avicebron cast a glance down at his master, making sure that Ritsuka was still asleep, before stepping out into the hallway. 

There were few people awake at that time of night. Some Chaldea staff were watching over, making sure that everything was okay. Most Servants had gone to sleep—only the night owls or the workaholics continued working diligently into the night. He noticed in one of the work rooms the Caster form of Gilgamesh working on his tablets, his eyebrows furrowed, as the mud doll Avicebron learned was named Enkidu hugged around his hips, as if to drag him off to bed. 

The truck wasn’t moving. They had stopped outside of Russia the day before as they gathered their intelligence and triangulated where the next Lostbelt would appear. Their old rival, Kadoc, now proved to be of extreme wealth, helping them as long as he was able to see his previous servant. 

Avicebron turned the corner and sighed. The armored truck was too small. He did not want to interact with anyone, but all of the rooms he peered into seemed to be occupied. He gazed down at his hands. The shaking continued. He could not return to his master’s room just yet. Avicebron made fists. This truck felt too tight—he was being suffocated. 

_Just like the mud._

He swallowed hard and unclenched his fists. 

He moved his way back near the door to the truck. The poor soul that had been stationed to guard the door had fallen asleep beside it. Avicebron was sure to be quiet as he punched the passcode that opened the door and slipped his way through. He cast a glance back into the truck—the guard was still asleep. The door closed with a soft, mechanical swish noise, and he was officially cast out into the early morning darkness. 

The harsh grip of winter’s wind wrapped around his body and he found himself hugging his throw against himself even more. The strong wind hit his mask and he suddenly wished for the warmth of the truck again. It was suffocating, yes, but it wasn’t below zero. 

Avicebron sighed and looked at the horizon. It was still far too early for the sunrise. The sky extended above him, littered with stars that blinked back. The knives that acted as his feet sunk into the snow with each step he took. In the distance, he spotted what he assumed to be a fox, who studied him in return. 

From what he could tell, they were almost out of Russia. It would take a few more days of driving to reach the next Lostbelt. Then they would be in Europe. His mind drifted back to home. The sunny days. The sound of children playing outside. The afternoons spent under the fig tree. He briefly wondered if Ritsuka would let them stop in Spain before he banished away the thought. 

At least they weren’t driving past Romania. 

With a flick of his wrist, a golem rose from the earth. It shook off the snow and then stood still, waiting for orders. He jumped up and sat down on its shoulder. The wind shook him more now that he was up higher and farther away from the truck. Avicebron kicked the snow that stuck to his feet. 

With one more glance at the truck, he instructed the golem to start walking. 

He wasn’t sure where he was going. He had some tie to his golems, so he could tell how much distance he was making between him and the golems that worked in the truck. He knew he shouldn’t go too far out—it was still early but he knew his master would wake up eventually—but he needed some distance. 

Each step the golem took made him feel better. He took deep breaths, the cold air filling his lungs. He looked back up at the sky, its deep blue slowly fading into a light blue and the stars disappearing from view. The moon stared silently back at him, as if asking what he was doing out here so early. The wind died down, and he was able to drop his hands down beside him. 

He patted the golem’s shoulder and it stopped. “Thank you,” he whispered. They descended into a soft silence. 

Avicebron tried his best not to make the thoughts wander. Yet how could he when it was engrained into his saint graph? He looked down at his chest. He could remember the pain, the feeling when he was swallowed by his own creation to become its core. The suffocating feeling of the mud and how it wrapped around his neck and filled his mouth. The sound Ritsuka made in response. 

_But I had done it. It was my own choice._

His sacrifice had helped clear the Lostbelt. Despite what Ritsuka had said—his choice had helped save the day. It was the least a murderer like him could do. He would do it over and over again if it meant helping his master. He deserved it. If it would absolve him of his sins, he would be trapped in the mud forever. 

If he could stop seeing his old master’s face whenever he closed his eyes, he would spend the rest of his life drowning in the clay. 

When he became the core, he expected that to be the end of his time with Ritsuka. He could not hide his confusion when he was pulled from the throne to the armoured truck. It was quickly replaced with worry as Ritsuka started bawling, saying something along the lines of catalysts working, and so Avicebron had to try and stop the crying. 

Their relationship together had certainly progressed quickly. In the span of a day his master had successfully grown him up to his final saint graph, and now, a grail that he had killed his previous master to try and achieve now sat inside him. All that he had done for the grail back then seemed silly, as he ran his finger down his chest. 

He shook his head. “I should probably return now,” he whispered. 

He was about to order the golem to turn around when he heard the sound of snow crunching. Avicebron turned his head, and through the early morning light, he found his master running towards him. 

“Wait is that really--?” he asked. 

“Avicebron!” his master cried out. 

“Move, move,” Avicebron instructed and the golem started turning around. Unfortunately, it was too slow moving for him, so he jumped down. He’d need to work on their speed—but later. He needed to focus on getting there as soon as possible. There could be an emergency. Running in the snow would be too troublesome. He reached down, brushing the snow away, and touched the soil underneath him. 

The ground started to move, bending and propelling him forwards. It rolled, crashing and cresting, pushing the snow out of the way. He moved quickly. This throw was like a cape and he a superhero. It did not take long for him to approach his master. 

Ritsuka looked like a mess. Face red, hair disheveled, and in pajamas no less. Avicebron slowed down the earth, and began simply running to them. He threw off his shroud in the process, so that when he reached his master he could throw it around their shoulders. 

His master smiled and hugged the cape around themselves. “Ahh.... thank... thank you Avicebron,” they said between pants. Their face was red, be it from the cold or from the running Avicebron could not be sure, and they rubbed their nose. They were also not wearing any shoes. 

“What is going on?!” Avicebron asked. He tried to remain composed, but there must have been a pressing issue. Why else would his master foolishly run out into below zero temperatures in their pajamas and no shoes? He waited for his master to regain composure. 

“That... that’s what I wanted to ask you!” Ritsuka panted out. 

“What?” Avicebron cocked his head to the side. 

Ritsuka’s grip tightened on the throw. Their eyes darted around frantically. “Well!” Their shoulders rose. “I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone! With nothing telling me where you had run off to! And when I went to go look for you I found that you had run out here! So... I had to follow you! You’re so smart so I... I thought something was happening!” 

They took a step closer. “I... I was worried about you!” 

“Master...” Avicebron began but was quickly cut off. 

“Why... why didn’t you tell me?” they screamed out. Avicebron could now see the tears welling in their eyes. 

Avicebron couldn’t find an answer. 

They sniffled and rubbed their nose again. “I... When you sacrificed yourself... I didn’t know what to do... I thought you were gone forever... I,” they chuckled, “I begged da Vinci to find a way to summon you again, poured myself over books to see if it was possible, did anything I could... And then! Then you came home!” They finally took the break they needed to inhale. “I did all of this—so you can’t just go and disappear on me!” 

“I’m... I’m sorry, I just needed some air.” 

Ritsuka shook their head and looked down at their feet. “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me.” They let go of the throw, letting their arms fall to their sides. “Avicebron... I want to be there for you. I, I can see your dreams. And you’ve told me about what happened in the last war... I want to help anyway I can.” 

“That’s not necessary, master,” Avicebron said, suddenly glad that his master couldn’t see his face. 

They balled their fists. “I know it isn’t! But!” Tears were falling now. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to! You’re... you’re my servant... no you’re more than that! And you can pretend that just because you have a mask on that I can’t see that you’re in pain but I can see! You don’t have deal with this by yourself! I want... I want to help you as much as I can... And then beyond that...” 

Avicebron bridged the gap, placing a hand on their arm. “Master... I’m flattered but... I’m really not deserving of all this.” 

Ritsuka shook their head and squeezed their eyes. “Don’t say that! You did... You sacrificed yourself for us! And past that... you keep on saving me over and over again! You’re teaching me how to do golem magic despite me fucking sucking at it! You’re so patient with me! You spend time with me, even when you didn’t want to! Just... Just seeing you makes me feel so much better! So, don’t say that you’re not deserving of this! Because, because you have already paid this back in full!” 

Avicebron pulled them into a hug, resting his head on their shoulder. He could feel their cold body fold into the hug, and the tears falling onto his shoulder. 

“You’re worth it all,” Ritsuka managed between sobs, “Everything... you’re worth everything, Avicebron.” 

He nodded, rubbing his hand up and down Ritsuka’s back. “Thank you, for everything master.” 

Ritsuka let out a choked sob, before it all came out, tears falling like rain. Avicebron hugged tighter, in fear that if he didn’t they might fall apart, and also for the fear that if he didn’t, he might not convey how much their work had helped. 

The hours grinding for materials to get his skills finished, the days working together for the next Lostbelt, their determination in Russia. 

They stood like that, the two of them in the snow, with the sun slowly rising. He waited until his master had cried all that they could, letting out small coughs as they composed themselves. They pulled away slightly, so that Avicebron could see their face. With red eyes and tear-stained cheeks they gave a soft smile. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to make such a big jump to staying in my room,” they whispered softly. 

Avicebron shook their head, running his fingers through their hair. “No, I... I really like it.” He paused, before adding, “I... I really like you, master.” 

He did not get the massive swell and smile that he might have expected, but rather a small smile and a nod. “I... I really like you too, Avicebron... though I guess that’s a little obvious.” 

Avicebron was glad he had his mask on, or his blush would be on full display. He leaned in and pressed his mask against Ritsuka’s forehead, the small piece of affection. “I’m glad.” 

The moment was unfortunately disrupted with a sneeze. Ritsuka rubbed their nose, “Sorry. Kind of ruined the moment.” 

Avicebron shook his head, turning to look at the golem that had now caught up to the two of them. “No, I think it’s best time for us to be heading back. Don’t want you to be outside for much longer.” Ritsuka nodded. 

He climbed up onto the golem, and when he was settled, extended his arm to his master to climb on. They hastily accepted, sitting on the shoulder in between the golem’s head and Avicebron. They leaned in onto the caster, and with hand resting on the other’s hand, the golem slowly started making its way back to the base. 

\-- 

“This is why you don’t go outside in the snow barefoot,” Avicebron explained, wringing the towel of excess water. 

Ritsuka had successfully caught a cold, and was now stuck in bed until they felt better—doctor's orders. They laughed softly, sighing at the cool feeling of the towel that Avicebron gingerly placed on their forehead. “It was an emergency.” 

Avicebron tutted his lips, “We both know it wasn’t.” 

“Okay,” they coughed, “But I did have to wrangle my stupid servant who decided to go outside in the snow without telling anyone.” 

“That’s fair.” 

Ritsuka’s eyes closed, a smile on their lips. “I love you, Avi.” 

Avicebron smiled at the nickname, patting his master’s arm before getting up. They needed a nap. ”I love you too, master.”

**Author's Note:**

> hello  
> as promised, here's some avicebron/ritsuka fanfic. i purposely make ritsuka's gender not stated so that anyone can fit themselves in.  
> the part about ritsuka getting him fully ascended in one day + the grails is true! i finished him in a day and he has 3 grails as of right now, with more coming as we get more grails.  
> this is kind of.. therapeutic for me. i started writing this after a harsh week for me. not to give you my whole life story but i wrestle with ptsd, and i was in a position where i had to deal with it a lot more. i was thankful to have my own ritsuka - my two s/os, to help me. this is kind of for them, as well. i relate a lot to how avicebron relates to his trauma, and writing what ritsuka tells avicebron helps reinforce it for me.  
> anyways. thank you so much for reading! i'm planning on doing some more positive, nicer, fluffier stuff. and maybe some nsfw who knows ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh   
> if you want to see the piles of avicebron/ritsuka art i'm doing you can follow my twitter @poludeuces !   
> thanks and have a good day!


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